Gettin' Wiggy With It

 Well, the deed is done.  Yesterday I went to the sweet little guy who has taken care of my hair for quite some time now.  He could not bring himself to shave it off.....bless his sweet little heart....he cried and I cried.  We opted for a very short "bob" type cut knowing full well, whatever was left there then would likely be gone in a few more days.  But, he felt that he, personally, needed a period of transition.  And, if I'm being honest, I probably did too.  Because the last 3 weeks have moved awfully fast for me.

He also took my "free" wig from the cancer support house and trimmed it up where it wasn't quite so intimidating for me to deal with.  I was already having issues with the fact that it was blonde.  All the other pieces they had for older women were that iron grey and short style that made me look more like my mom than I already do.  I love my mom, but honestly, I feel the need to walk this path as just myself.  To develop how I want this journey to look for me.  Because this is very personal.  No two people walk it the same, or even have the same set of circumstances.  What happens to your body is the most personal thing there is.  And, while people can be sympathetic, emphathetic, helpful, and everything that is good in human nature....they will never ever know how it feels inside you....on this day.  And, let's face it....people who are sick (and look sick) make people uncomfortable for multiple reasons, most of them good.

And if we are being honest about it, I think people who experience this kind of invasion on their person actually spend a great deal of time trying to shield others from it as much as possible.  Because, it is scary.  For me, given the fact that they tell me they got everything they went for, which should mean I am cancer free;  the fact that it has such a high probability of coming back is the reason I have set myself on this course of action.  My other choice was to "wait it out" for 18 months and see what happens.  I guess time will tell if  I chose correctly.  But, it was MY choice and I will have to stand on whatever outcome I get.

At the beginning of this, when I decided to chronicle this messy journey, I promised to be honest, to be real and to be raw with you.  I am determined to stick to that promise.

So....turns out I am braver than I thought and so I'm bringing it to you in photographic form.  I will say, I have another wig that should arrive soon that is more MY color and style.  We will see if it is a better "fit" for me, in any case it will be good to have options I think.  And, I am also in the market for head coverings (that are not crochet or knit), it's too hot in Arkansas for those so if you see something you think is cute, send me a link.  Love to you all.....grab a hold of today and squeeze the crap out of it.