Baby Steps

 

It is said we first must crawl before we walk and walk before we run.  We think we have to master this but once in our lives....but, for some of us, we have to relearn the basic procedures for navigating the world.

Friday I had my follow up appointment with the ortho doctor.  My breaks in my left foot and right ankle (fibula) are healing nicely.  Therefore, I can stop wearing the "boot" unless I'm leaving the house.  I hate that torture device so much I refuse to leave the house.  Not having to drag that heavy thing around also means I don't have to depend on the walker full time and can go back to the cane.  It is surprising how much energy it takes to move one's self around encumbered by a walker and a boot.  I feel somewhat liberated.  It was good timing to since I am now in the phase of a handful of radiation treatments left.  Now the area of concentration for the beam is smaller and more intense....with fewer passes of the machine....and it's pretty draining.

If all goes well, I will finish radiation next week and will finally get to have my many-times cancelled Keytruda immunotherapy treatment.  I am looking forward to a "pause" in the action to hopefully re-build my strength a little.  Lately, I've been dragging.  I'm having difficulty eating because nothing wants to stay with me and I've experienced nausea for the first time since all this began.

My dogs have come home and they keep watchful eyes on me while judiciously staying out of range should I decide to take another tumble.  I've had so much unselfish, kind and compassionate help I will never be able to give back to a sufficient degree.  I am very very lucky!  And I have hair again....not much but I'll take it even though it appears to growing in about 15 different directions.  (Picture follows)

My friend Cathy goes for her surgery on the 13th....I ask that you keep her in your prayers.  She found out her tumor is a "surface" one which is why chemo didn't affect it.  You literally learn new things every day with this disease!  Continued prayers for Debbie and Shane.  And also, all the people living breathlessly in hope that they will be one of the lucky ones that get to have a future free of cancer.

Thanks to my precious cousin Becky for the care package of things to make my body feel better.  She is so very thoughtful.....always.  And, she is loved!

Thinking a nap might be good about now so I'm shutting down for a bit.  I love you all and am so thankful for your continued prayers, offers of support and understanding.  You mean the world to me!

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. ISAIAH 40: 31(KJV)

Hello New Year

2026....a brand new year.  I have been quiet lately because the end of 2025 kept me hopping.  Not really, but that would have been nice.

Still dealing with neuropathy that has stopped frustrating me and now just makes me mad as pissed off fire ant.  Then I contracted a Noro-virus which came very close to ending me.  Not in the best of shape physically that sucker took me down.  And the Monday before Christmas my blood pressure tanked and I wound up falling in my kitchen.

The second I hit the floor I knew it wasn't good but I managed to get myself up and called for "back-up".  Long story short I was admitted to the hospital with fractures in both my feet.  2 broken toes and fractured small bones on the top of my left foot and a fractured fibula in my right leg.  So....already hobbling around like Mr. Tudball (IYKYK) and now I couldn't outrun a turtle in a foot race.  Turns out the hospital was likely a Godsend as I had a mild UTI and my hemoglobin was dangerously low requiring a blood transfusion.  My blood pressure was so low they couldn't give me pain meds for about 18 hours.  But they got me back up and going even though the after effects of the stomach virus were still lingering around.  They sent me home the day before Christmas and here I've been since.

During all of the above, I missed multiple radiation treatments which means those will continue in January for a while.

I am getting around at home with a walker as I have to keep as much weight as possible off my right leg and have finally consented to certain wheelchair rides when called for.  I've also had to turn loose of a lot of pride and allow help when offered.

Since this has all transpired through 3 holidays trying to find in home health care or a short term rehab placement is proving difficult....but it's a new year so I'm hopeful that will resolve soon.

On a brighter note....today my daughter in law, Paula is cooking a "family" New Year's lunch and I'm force feeding black eyed peas to everyone with a mouth.  I need a normal event for a change....my life has just been a relentless cycle of doctors, clinics, treatments and you can't "live" there very happily.

I'm ready for change.  My hair is growing back and I'm actually feeling fairly optimistic about what is to come.  Either way....I am ready and other than missing my dogs like crazy my days are pretty good.  Every day at radiation, I see people who make me realize just how very lucky I am.  Stark reality is a great teacher if you have the ability to look at yourself realistically without filtering everything through the lens of your own feelings.  Do I get weepy?  Yes.  Am I sometimes angry?  Yep.  But I am also very grateful for so very much and I hope to be able to pay things forward one day.

Please pray for my friend Cathy as the New Year will bring her an experimental surgery that we are very hopeful for.  Pray for Debbie and Shane as well.  And pray for all those nameless people who continue to show up with hope in their heart that there will be a happy ending for them.

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." -Psalm 46:1

God lifted me from my kitchen floor, He can surely reach you as well.

Happy New Year with love from me to you.