Calm Before the Storm

 "a period of unusual tranquility or stability that seems to presage difficult times."

This quiet time can bring a sense of peace, yet it can also bring a mixture of feelings of panic as we brace for what's to come.

Right now I am in such a place.  I am feeling pretty well, albeit tired.  And, I'm also trying to get my ducks in a row, questions to ask, suggestions for what might work better this time around.  Medications to catalog and find out what they do and when I should lean on them to do their job.  This chemo stuff is ever evolving and changing but I find it also has a lot of the same little potholes each time.  Those are the things I would really like to impact on the most.  I would so like for those challenges to become more manageable and easier to navigate.

My weekend was very quiet and it's a good thing because I spent two whole days feeling like I'd worked outside in the heat when all I HAD done was hold down the couch and try to figure out where I left off in a movie when I dropped off to sleep.....again.

I will go to work today.....my finances need me to stay productive on days I can actually manage that.  And honestly, I am glad of the distraction.  I hope to work the first 3 days of this week because Thursday will usher in what I fully expect to be another week of not being able to do a whole lot.  Maybe this time will be better....I surely hope so.  I'd like to get through the half way point of chemo feeling like I was getting more adept at managing this.

I have had such nice things happen in the past few days.  Delicious deliveries of food, a little unexpected influx of cash....and messages of hope and encouragement (I now have a magic wand....be afraid....be very afraid!)  I am so very blessed in my family and in my friends....I hope they know it is their support that keeps me chugging forward.

I am now equipped with a "port" for ease in infusions.  Rick refers to it as a "fuel door"....but Kaylee deemed me a Cyborg.  I am truly hopeful this helps everyone concerned in my treatment process.  I know my veins will likely breathe a big sigh of relief.....no more blow outs or leaking chemo will be a big plus.

Not much will be reported this week as I get ready for Round 3 but for sure there will be things to say after treatment on Thursday.  My last name is Beshears.....we all know that if something can go sideways, funny or wrong....it will happen to us.  We are ever watchful and ever prepared and we usually find a way to make it funny.

Love and light from the journey!

-Lavetta