Show Me The Funny

There's been quite a lot of doom, gloom, poor pitiful me, and just plain old griping and complaining lately.  I have always been someone who tries to find funny moments to hook onto....and most of them are aimed at me.  Why?  Because I try not to make fun of other people's misfortune, but have never been afraid to let fly at myself

Most of you have been around for the stuck on top of the fence saga, the wet my pants after being attacked by a high pressure water hose and the locked out in 40 degree weather in a t-shirt and underwear.  In short...I could probably quit my job and sell my life as a pretty entertaining reality series.  Something happened yesterday that just may make #1 on my personal hit parade of unfortunate events.  I've thought about it and finally decided that there is little about myself that should embarrass me at this point especially when my hair looks something like this.....well, really....not even that good.

My dogs love going out in the front yard early in the morning.  For the most part this is okay, but they do have a "see people, run to people" response.  Yesterday was such a day.  It was early...I was wearing a gown, a housecoat, no shoes and sleeping underwear.  The underwear weren't sleeping, I wear them when I am.  Because....they are not confrontational....no pinching no binding.   Anyway, I am barely walking at this point....like a brand new toddler teetering through life on unsteady, traitorous feet.

Suddenly, a very attractive lady comes strolling up the street.  I see her...they do not.  Well, not yet.  But, then they do and we are off.  They reach her waaay before I do but I am in lukewarm pursuit.  By the time I get there, they have lost interest in her and found new passions another house further away...I'm still following.  The nice lady has paused her walk to try to help me wrangle the juvenile offenders but they are not interested in what she wants or what I want and they keep on leading me further away from safety.

I don't feel it happening, but suddenly........my bright turquoise friendly underwear has simply decided that life is no longer worth living and has given up the fight.  Heaven forbid, it make this decision inside the house....no no....it passes away right in the middle of the street and falls dead at my feet.

Fan-freaking-tastic!  That poor lady looked at me and a hundred emotions ran across her face like a badly edited film.  Finally, she said "oh honey, what can I do to help you?"  "Oh nothing.....maybe forget where I live....or speak of this to no one."  (all the while knowing that yes, yes, I will tell this on myself....because quite frankly....it's the best thing that has happened to me in several days.

But, do I run the risk of flashing the neighborhood by hauling them back up into a place they have deliberately chosen to leave....or do I simply step out of them, retrieve them and dispose of them?  I chose the latter.

Holding my 10 lb little Sawyer dog under one arm and waving my underwear at Ozzie to drive him home, we made it back into the house at which point I tossed the panties, had a talk about respecting the boundaries of the concrete in the front yard with the dogs and set about the rest of my day, one pair of unmentionables lighter.

Now that I am thinking about it....maybe they really were "sleeping" underwear and they just fell asleep at the worst moment....but now they forever sleep...but not with the fishes or in the street.

I hope this made you laugh....it's okay if you also question my sanity....I do so on the daily.

Signing off now - Captain Underpants