Today, I am standing. This has been my mantra in life for quite a while now. I don't always stand for popular, politically correct positions. But, I do try to stand on my own convictions and teachings at the feet of people with far greater knowledge than I.
Something I always do is try to stand on principals that have served me well throughout life. Where does this need to STAND come from? Perhaps from the old song I love from long ago. Standing on the Promises of God.
As I journey through this newest chapter of my life, navigating clumsily trying to carefully pick my way around pot holes and road blocks, I am finding other travelers.
Friends, neighbors, acquaintances that are also somewhere along this journey.....that while similar is also altogether different. I am finding that the path is NOT the same for anyone. For some, thank God....it is easier. For others.....so very much harder. Some people, like me, have no "person" that holds their hand every day, squashes down their own fear and supports them. And some, have those people who are invested in this journey with the person they love most in life and they are having to be unbelievably brave when all they want to do is fall apart. I cannot know which is better. Maybe neither.
What I do know, today, is we cannot lean upon our own understanding of the Divine mind of a very living and engaged God. He knew us before we were formed, He called us by our name and we all belong to Him. He knows our every thought, word and deed and he also knows the exact moment we will slip the earthly tether that sends us back to Him for eternal rest and peace.
Every day, along my road, I am seeking out the little signs along the way. "Seek Me First", "Let Go and Let God", "Be Still and Know", and lately...."Stand."
I've said from the beginning, I am NOT in charge. There are days where I feel swept along like dandelion fluff in a gentle breeze. Other days, I feel tired and unwilling to push forward. And then, there are the days when I feel that renewed little "push" saying "don't give up now....you are inching toward something important." And so.....I remain standing. Thursday brings around another event that was almost more than I could handle last time. I am standing on the promise that God is guiding the hands that treat me with a better understanding of what my body needs. I am standing that my support systems will stand with me. I am standing on my own unique sense of humor to help me find something to laugh about in this next episode. I mean, let's face it....the thought of me, a shower chair and a walker all winding up twisted together in a rather small walk in shower has to bring a smile. Particularly when you know that all three objects emerged a bit battered but not fatally flawed.
I would ask today for your prayers for the fellow travelers who pop up every day. Some with stories that have ended in triumph, some with stories just beginning, and for those whose stories ended almost before they began. And know, we all are standing on something greater than we are. I'm not sure how you can know cancer and not know God....I wouldn't want to try. Cancer took my husband from me and we didn't know it was lurking there in the dark. I know my enemy and I also know the supreme warrior that fights for me. It is not me....I am putting my existence into the hand of the One who made me. And, I'm trusting that I have a purpose here....still. I'm trusting we all do and I hope we can each find it within ourselves to be present with our fellow travellers to listen and know their stories so that we can better support them and pray for them with intention.
The image of the lone windmill standing in the Texas panhandle brings me profound peace. They look a little fragile don't they? But, those structures endure years of unrelenting wind and blowing dirt and still bring forth moisture from the depths of the hard packed dry ground. A triumph of engineering....for sure. But maybe, also, a lesson. Dig deep, pump hard, use the wind to your advantage and never stop looking for the life giving water. When you find it, drink deep....God is in every drop and He will be your rest stop.
STAND!
