Needles and Pins-a

 

My 6th and final round of chemo proved to be a demon.  Always before I waa able to get to the point of feeling better after a brutal follow up week.  The last one is still hanging around but I think we may be approaching the final leg of that particular journey.

Maybe the fact that I just decided that I would do whatever it took to get on top of it.

So, in the spirit of transparency I will tell you that this child of the 60's aka Hippie Wanna Be did in fact embrace the benefits of medical marijuana.  And, yesterday I experienced accupuncture for the first time.  Both of these things have helped.  My feet are still not great but yesterday I was able to navigate life without "Matilda" (my walker).  Matilda and I have a bit of love hate relationship as she likes to go off on her own from time to time because I forget to lock her brakes.  I do love the fact that she is like having a purse on wheels to hold all my stuff.  But...she is a "friend" I was not ready to love therefore, we tolerate each other.

The accupuncture really did help.  My mattress is very old and the position I have had to sleep in (I fall in a divot) for months because of my feet has not done my sciatic nerves any favors.  Last night I was able to fall asleep without my cold therapy socks for the first time in I can't remember when.  I woke up at 5:30 am and had not been up even once all night (also not usual).  I am celebrating these little wins and giving all glory to God for putting the right people in my orbit to make truly helpful suggestions.  And praise God I am willing to be open to practically anything that might help move me forward in my treatment path in the hope that I can stand after this as a survior and a thriver.

My son and THE ANGELA are here again this weekend to hang out with me and do my bidding.  I enjoy them being here.  My son and I have a similar twisted sense of humor and he makes me laugh....sometimes when I shouldn't.  And Angie is a little cyclone of busyness so I just sit back and let her work.

Last year on this day we were preparing to bring Roger home from NWA.  After all the twists and turns, the starts and stops, plans and disappointments, we had realized we had just a little time to utilize and we wanted to be home.  Roger was concerned that he looked a looked a little rough around the edges and so this happened:

I just love this picture....there is something so tender and sweet about Rick serving his Dad by trimming his facial hair.  This is love, respect, and honor visualized.  Rick has taken on board the words his Dad gave him about going forward in life and every day I see evidence of his desire to live in the way his Dad did.  Not only did he make his Dad a priority during those last precious days, but he has also made me one during this journey I am on.  I am very grateful for him and his wife, Paula.  I know Roger asked them to make sure I was okay and they have certainly embraced that instruction....Roger has to be proud.

I just love the fact that my husband looks totally at peace while this trim is happening.  He was talking throughout this process and I just sat back and watched, joyous that these 2 had this moment together.

On this day a year ago, my time with my husband was speeding to the finish line and all I wanted was to hide him away and keep him for myself.  But he was so loved by so many people and time was so limited, I had to share him.  I sat in a lot of corners, watching and listening....but I never let him see me cry.  For Roger, I only had smiles and little inside jokes and naughty innuendos (he loved those.)  He was the best thing that ever happened to me on earth apart from my children and I will strive everyday to be a person he would be proud of....the person he always believed I already was.

This song really isn't a great one but I included it because it is the title of this post.  If you listen to it tell me if you this the Searchers just threw a bunch of random words into a salad bowl and then strung them together with music.  I give you Needles and Pins-a by The Searchers!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugDXpdjmpgw

Have a wonderful weekend.......tell someone you love them....somewhere someone is waiting to hear they are valued.

LKB